Earlier in the month-
Dear Self,
It is a fairly cool September morning. I am sitting on the back porch drinking coffee. My husband is doing the same. The lizard couple is emerging from their porch umbrella bed.
It is 8:23 a.m. and I am observing the stone chicken on the porch nearby.
She sits near our “Philosopher’s Rock”…so named because of the human and gargoyle statues that sit on that rock while pondering great thoughts.
The stone chicken is actually made of cement and is about a foot tall and heavy. Most of the paint that decorated her is long gone, weathered away by whatever elements she has been exposed to over the years. There is a hint of green at her base that is meant to represent grass, and a hint of yellow on one leg. Her beak is a bit chipped.
She was in our yard in Shreveport when I was a child, so she is at least 65 years old! We moved to Austin and for some reason my parent’s hauled her with us. After a year, they bought a house and she resided there for the next 49 years, until my mother died. Then her heaviness became part of our yard statue collection.
“Chicken” is often used to call out someone’s fear. This morning I am contemplating my own fears…some quite heavy. Fears that I have carried with me all these years…some acquired in Shreveport and some gathered here.
In the past few years I have been planning on painting the stone chicken’s bare skin. I might use bright paint in multiple colors. I might paint each feather a different color. This is only a plan. I do have the paint, but whether I ever paint the thing is to be determined.
It occurs to me, as I compare the stone chicken to my own fears…have I painted over and prettied up my own fears? In layers of…searching for words here…the word for pushing your feelings down…the words for pretending all was just fine…the words for pushing them, the fears and anger, away…I am in awe that I have carried these old feelings with me these many, many years. I know they have weighted down my spirit. Does knowing this allow me to release these old feelings? Well, that is a work in progress.
Maybe someday I will feel lighter, like this little wren perched on the stone chicken’s head.
Natural Musings 
A very philosophical post … I do hope you’ll share the chicken’s future here
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Thank you Liz!
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Betty, I read this written and photo essay a couple of days ago, but just now have an opportunity to comment. The combination of words and pictures is so expressive. I could easily relate to them. I have a stone rat that I have moved with me for many years. Photo attached. She does not have nearly the long history of your stone chicken. I bought her from an artist friend of a friend and named her Mizrat as a joking allusion to ancient goddesses and other personages from the Middle Eastern and North African region. She is the guardian spirit for my various potted plants. The wren is a perfect ending to your piece. I love wrens for their chutzpah. Thanks for your essays from one who has her own “work in progress”. abrazos, Marcia
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Thank you Marcia! Funny what we get attached to…I love that Mizrat is watching over your potted plants!
Photo did not come through, but I have a nice picture in my mind of her.
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Miss you so much Betty!!
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Missing you too!
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That wren seems to know some answers. Look forward to the chicken change if you feel that way inclined. Maybe that wren knows the colours.
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Thank you for reading! Interesting thought…”Maybe that wren knows the colours.”
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I always enjoy your posts! This one resonated especially because I have in my yard a concrete bench/love-seat with two frogs and an umbrella. They were in my parents’ yard for as long as I can remember, moved with them a couple of times, and when my mother passed away I claimed the frogs (named Gene and Rita so probably acquired when they were friends with them – late 60s or early 70s). It now sits in my back yard near the pool, a spot I’m sure they enjoy. I could take a picture but right now they are kind of half hidden by overgrown brittlebush that morphed into a monster bush after we had 5 straight days of rain a couple of weeks ago! ❤️ Trish
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Hi Trish,
Thanks for sharing your stone critter story! Gene and Rita…hum…now I am going to have to come up with names for the stone inhabitants…
And thank you for sending us some much needed rain! We had two inches last night after over 40 days of no rain.
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I loved your chicken musings, Betty. We also have some old and broken statutes in our back yard that take on new meanings when I think about them. I have a painting plan too – it is a brightly colored mural on the old garage wall that calls me but I am fearful to take on that project. And fears we carry – that is something else to muse about…
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Thank you Sarah! I love the idea of a brightly colored mural on your old garage wall. Just as with me and painting the chicken, it is the getting started that is hard…I too, let me tell myself why the project is not a good idea…or that now is not the right time…maybe we could start with a tiny piece…you could paint a tiny corner of the wall and I could paint one chicken feather? Or…just let it live freely in our imaginations!
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