disappointment – Natural Musings

Signs

Recently, a friend dropped by. She was having a horrible day, one of those days when nothing goes right. She had failed at making a special cake, one that she had made a thousand times before. Everything she tried that day became a frustration. The biggie was earlier in the day, when she bent down and picked up what she thought was a brown leaf on the floor by her bed. She put it on a counter to toss out later. She was not wearing her glasses at the time. Later, while wearing glasses, she passed by the counter and was appalled to see a dead scorpion on the counter! She had picked up a scorpion with her bare hands! Was this a bad omen? A symbol of the bad stuff to come? I told her that I had done that before…picked up what I thought was a leaf while not wearing my glasses. In my case the object was a large dead roach.

I told her that things would get better, that we all have days like this and it would pass. And she should be happy that the scorpion was dead…maybe that was a good sign. After she left, I googled “what do scorpions symbolize?” thinking that negative things would come up on my screen. But, the websites I checked out had positive things to say about scorpions, such as: “Scorpions can be a symbol of rebirth, power, independence, and passion.” (1)

A few days before that, another friend had texted me a link to a story on what it means when a cardinal appears. I had heard about cardinals being a sign of a passed on loved one visiting from beyond. And some people believe they are a sign of love and hope and loyalty. The 30th of December was when I started writing the draft of this blog. That was my late father’s birthday and I kept looking out the window at my trees and feeders, hoping to see a cardinal.

But, I like to think of myself as above all this superstition…that I am a student of nature, ever in awe of the beauty of all species that inhabit the earth with us…and how special they all are, but in a scientific way. Well, I pretend to think like this, “Look at me! I don’t believe in that magical hooey!” If I am honest with you, I admit to giving special significance to seeing certain critters, especially positive significance. If I see a hawk as I set out on a trip, I consider this a good omen…that the trip will be safe. I never think a particular critter represents badness. That is my personal choice and fits in with trying to “think positive thoughts”, something my mother used to say.

Driving home from a recent luncheon a scissortail flycatcher flew over the road in front of my car! I thought I might have hallucinated it because they are not supposed to be here in the winter. They are an unmistakable bird with their long forked tail. So, I looked them up online…what they might symbolize. The website said “something has ended in my life- an ending that has been necessary for quite sometime.” Okay…not yet sure what this is referring to.

I have many wrens visit my yard. They apparently are associated with the ideas of staying joyful while moving forward in life, and kindness. I like that.(3)

Anyway, these ideas come from our human imaginations and can be a source of amusement and inspiration. I think they can coexist with science…just so we know the difference.

I never did see a real cardinal on my dad’s birthday, but I did see one in my kitchen. I spotted a cardinal magnet on the refrigerator. That will have to do. Am wishing you all a wonderful New Year filled with signs of goodness in many forms!

p.s. Word of advice: Before you pick up something from the floor, please put on your glasses!

Websites:

1.) Spiritanimal.info

2.) Shellyrwilson.com

3.) Spirit-animals.com

(cardinal photo by B. McCreary)

Surviving An Eclipse

I remember my mother’s matter of fact voice as she quoted Robert Burns to me:

“The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men

Gang aft agley,

An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,

For promis’d joy!”

My usual words to myself are “When Life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” But, these words usually come to me later, after my initial anger at the thwarting of my well laid plans. I am still learning how to muddle my way through disappointment. Recently, my significant other and I embarked on a long anticipated vacation. Well, Life events eclipsed my plans…or in this case it was Death (more about that later). I thought I would share some things I learned during the recent thwarting.

When the normal 20 minute drive to the airport takes more than 3 hours through unusual routes and gridlocked traffic:

Enjoy learning how to take the toll road the long, long, way around town to the airport. And be glad that you are driving and that your cell phone savvy spouse is navigating.
Be happy you are not alone. You have someone to talk to in your car. You have a radio to tell you that you are in a traffic jam and what caused the jam. Everyone else on the road is with you, a bonding experience with your sister and fellow travelers.
Be grateful for drivers that let you merge when your lane ends. Don’t curse too much at the ones cutting you off. And pat yourself on the back for pushing your way in front of other cars when needed, and for letting others move in front of you. No one is getting anywhere fast anyway.
Enjoy learning about the neighborhoods that you usually speed past without seeing. There are taquerias, tire repair shops, and convenience stores with bathrooms for a needed pee break during this long commute. And again, be thankful for the car that lets you back onto the road after the pee break.
Take advantage of the slow, slog to bird watch as you move only 6 feet every 2 minutes past an undeveloped field. There is time to dig out the binoculars and watch hawks hunting, little sparrows foraging in the grass, and a shrike at the top of a tree. You can focus on Nature and calm your “I am going to miss my flight!” agitation. Pretend you are one of the Monarch butterflies fluttering over the freeway towards the airport.
Admire the gumption of the young travelers wheeling their suitcases the last mile and a half to the terminal after ditching their ride shares.

When you finally get to your car park and are on the shuttle to the terminal:

Enjoy competing with the other riders in one-upping each other in how long the commute took.
Enjoy your shuttle driver telling you that this hours long road shutdown is not as bad as the 8 hour road shutdown that happened a few months ago.

Once you get to the airport terminal:

Once again, enjoy bonding with the thousands of other people who missed their flights and with whom you will be in line with for at least the next hour.
Be proud you asserted yourself when a woman with an angry face cuts in line in front of you. She will back off and yell at you, “Well, move it then!” She will not apologize. A sister passenger in line supports you in your assertiveness and points out that the angry face attempted line cutter is wearing an airline uniform. “They are supposed to be courteous!” she says in a British accent. Be thankful you didn’t miss an international flight like the sister passenger did. Don’t report the angry face lady to the airline she represents. After all, she missed her flight too. You have that bond.
Enjoy people watching. There are people from all walks of life and nationalities and most of them are being civil to each other. Smile at the antics of the bored little kids in line and be glad that you are not trying to get out of town with a family of 6.
When you get a flight that leaves 7 hours later and will get you to your destination after midnight, enjoy more people watching and maybe a really good sandwich (airport prices be damned!). And be thankful that you and your traveling companion find a place to sit down. At your age, sitting on the floor like the younger travelers might be an option, but getting up off the floor will be much harder.
Accept that not all plans work out. Let go of trying to continue on despite your exhaustion.
Be thankful that it is just your trip that has been snuffed out and not your life. The roads had been closed and traffic rerouted because a person on a motorcycle died in a collision that morning, before sunrise.

(Eclipse photo was a screen shot from an online live stream of the October 14, 2023 solar eclipse over Albuquerque, New Mexico from NASA)

(Poem excerpt from To a Mouse by Robert Burns; from wwwlpoetryfoundation.org)

Pandemic Spring

Ah! Spring! I don’t like winter. I need the promise of coming warmth, new growth, and renewal to get me through the cold, dreary days. I always look forward to visiting local parks to see the beautiful displays of wildflowers in central Texas.

Well, spring is here, but this year it will be different for all of us. We are now under city of Austin/county of Travis orders not to leave our homes unless it is for essential reasons. Buying groceries, walking our dogs, and exercising are considered essential. We are not allowed to gather with non family members and must remain 6 feet apart from all others when we venture out. This is new and scary territory as the number of coronavirus victims rises. As of this writing there are 179 cases in the county (up from 160 the day before) and there has been 1 death. I note my physical state each day and try not to leap to the conclusion that I’ve got it. I try for some sort of normality, but these are not normal times.

Last Sunday, March 15th, I ventured out to a nearby grocery store. There were too many bare shelves. I had seen some the week before, but somehow I thought those were anomalies. The bread shelves were bare. There was no milk at all in the dairy case. There was no cheese. No ramen. The frozen pizza area was picked almost to the bone. I walked around the store in awe. I did buy a few things. But, the only things on my grocery list that I actually found were wine and toothpaste. Driving out of the parking lot I started to cry and was pretty blue the rest of the day. At least we had some food at home. We are lucky. So far no one I know has gotten ill.

I am still trying to get used to the lack of freedom. At first I was sure that I would be able to go out and walk among the flowers at the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center. Then they closed some of their facilities (gift shop, cafe, classrooms, etc.). Okay. No problem. The grounds were still open and I planned a visit. I would get to see the owl, Athena, who had recently returned to nest near the entrance. Maybe her owlets had hatched. But, No! The Wildflower Center decided to close their grounds to all but essential staff.

Okay, I thought, I can still go out to my favorite nearby state park, Mckinney Falls, and indulge my wildflower and birding passions. Their grounds (400+ acres) were still open when I checked their website on March 19th. The site suggested reserving a park day pass online to minimize park staff interacting with the public. I planned a trip to the park with my husband. On March 22nd I checked the website. No! The park was now closed too!

Okay, I know I am whining. So many people are getting very sick and many are dying. Even doctors and nurses are dying. Celebrities and heads of state are getting sick. I am in the older than 60 group that has a greater risk of dying of the virus and I am grasping at focusing on Nature’s beauty and not on Nature’s ugly.

I can’t go see the park flowers in person during this pandemic, but I have photos from past years. I can do a virtual park tour. I share a few here for you to enjoy. Stay safe and I hope to join you next spring among the flowers.